First of all, say goodbye to 2011 for everything that has been done. There were good and bad experience that I felt during this year although I’m still stuck at the bad side.
Conflict in Mom and Dad relationship, struggle in Materials Engineering study, struggle in finding the encouraging community, struggle to find the future plan that suits with God purpose for my life, losing hope for everything I do, girlfriend that sometimes also disrupt my mind, having a back problem since 2008 with no sign of positive recovery, lost my iPod on 19 Sept, nearly lost my BlackBerry phone 1 week after I lost my iPod, leaving my KTB (Kelompok Tumbuh Bersama), decline an offer from AIESEC for a social internship to Philippines due to safety reason and many other else. God please grant me serenity to accept all as my process of character for present life. Get up to work these out and not think all of it for the sake of my self-fulfillment but for Your will be done in my life.
I honestly had a lot of blessing from the good experience from 2011 although I mentioned a lot of my struggles in 2011. Being involved in GTD13 (Indonesian Freshmen Orientation Camp) as a Business and Financial Manager Maincomm Committee, Being involved in NTU ISCF as Care Group Coordinator, Having a healthy body despite having a first experience in suffering ankle injury(after all, I know the first action to do if I sprain my ankle next time), Participating in NTU ISCF Camps (1st attempt is in March:Faithful inside, fruitful outside and 2nd attempt is in December: Worship as a lifestyle), Learning Design Project as preparation for Final Year Project (FYP), Going to a trip to Shenzhen-Macau-Hongkong-Malay for 9 days in summer holiday (with my cousins, auntie, and my grandma), Participating in East Asia Regional Conference (EARC) for 7 days in end of May until early June which is a conference that covers country in east Asia and also middle-east, having a chance to be a part timer at U-ROC in SAC, Getting a room in Hall 4 on 1st Sept where a lot of friends still waiting for room, having a chance to fly back to Indonesia during examination period for celebrating Grandma 80th Birthday and gathering with big families, Having a chance to play futsal, and many other else.
I know I look on God in a small view not in a wide view which makes me see God as a small God that must do what I think is the correct one. But He did everything in my life differently. He twisted everything. He really made me out of nowhere until I realize that I need to seek Him and ask Him about it.
Looking to a new year, 2012, I have made my resolution in order to keep my pace on track.
1. Mission
- Mom and Dad
* to keep praying for them and do some actions to solve the communication problem between them
- Friends
* to keep in touch with close friends
* to forge each other and share about our struggles
* to give ‘small gifts’ as a sign of love and friendship
2. Study
- Industrial Attachment (IA)
*to maximize my learning in the first half year in 2012 (ask colleague, supervisor, be more discipline, etc)
- Final Year Project (FYP)
*to find the choosen one seriously (by asking seniors, knowing the basic knowledge of the project, interested to do the project)
- Planning for future life
* to think about how I want to do things strategically
3. Spiritual
- to commit in reading Christian books at least 10-15 minutes everyday
- to commit in having good time for meditating at least 10-15 minutes everyday
4. Sports
- to improve playing tennis (find basic skill and knowledge, sparring partner)
- to start shaping body (especially abs)
5. Music
- to start learning guitar (firstly by printing chord list, find the right time, find supportive friends who want to share and teach)
6. Ministry
- Resign as Usher and try to find other ministry such as Sunday Service, audio, or multimedia
7. Discipleship
- to think about the strategy to disciple people
8. Soft Skills
- to have seven (7) hours for sleeping time
- to place my belongings properly
- to anticipate time with unexpected things that can happen (prepare 30 minutes before hand)
- to be more initiative in asking small things to people as a sign of love and care
- to learn for not seeking only for the goods of me but for others (learn to accommodate arguments)
- to not procrastinate for so long (finishing the unfinished matter then improve the positive habits)
9. Hidden Sins
- to remove the roots of sexual sins + temptation
- pride
*to be brave in asking questions to people
* to not feel afraid or shame because I do not know anything
* to be more calm by not countering the argument from people towards my acts while talking or having some chats with them
10. Girl
- to pray about my choosen couple
- to prevent any debauchery in seeing and visualizing opposite gender
- to get at least one girls that I comfy to talk to
These are my resolutions for 2012. Some may look general because I have not specify the way to do it but soon I will slowly look on it one by one.
To end my resolution time, I want to mention that my resolution will not 100 percent according to His will. He will set me apart from this resolution if He wants and He does it many times during my life. Hopefully, I can learn the process of shaping my genuine heart for Him as I need to widen my understanding about His will so that I will not concentrate only in my ‘small view’ of God. My God will be seen as a small God if I see it only in my way but His way is too rich to be explored by our mind.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
(Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV)
Mostly God never gives you a straight light in your paths. He might give us candle to know our path one or two steps ahead as it makes us come to Him to have faith in Him.
Happy new year 2012 
